www.TheyCallMePhil.com

Sit Back and Listen

Today was an interesting day. For those of you unfamiliar with college life in Utah County, the entire valley is basically a ghost town on Sundays. Few cars are on the roads, hardly any shops are open and the most popular place to be is actually every other block at an LDS chapel. From 6 AM to 6 PM or later, these edifices with towers stretching high into the sky are an inner sanctum of Mormon social life. What happens after, however, can tell you a lot about who you are on a spiritual, social, and emotional level.

For me, a Sunday usually consists of waking up ten minutes before church starts, throwing on a shirt and a tie, sitting through three hours of religious instruction (which is spent with me wishing I could play Tetris on my iPhone), and rushing home to gorge myself on anything I can find in my fridge. But today was different.

This afternoon I found myself sitting at my desk, attempting to plug in as many lines of dialog and scene description into my most recent screenplay as possible. That, unfortunately, was interrupted with the arrival of my brother and his fiance. They wanted to take a nap and I took that as my excuse to end my miserable attempt at writing this particular screenplay.

My thoughts turned to chocolate, and the small portion I stole from my brothers cupboard to satisfy my intense sweet tooth. Sad news, it didn’t. So as I sat there, thinking about this chocolate I remembered my sister Rachel had just returned from Canada, and brought with her a Wunderbar. Now, there is one thing you have to understand about Phil Hudson, I love chocolate. It’s quite frankly instant happiness for me. It really is. My friend Mike calls me the “Truffle-uf-agus” because we spent January 2009 sitting in our living room watching Battle Star Galactica and eating truffles we got from Kara Chocolates.

Needless to say, I called my sister (one of those rare occasions which she adores, I’m sure) and she happened to be at a BBQ. To make things short, I was invited to go over and I thought ‘Heck, I’m not doing anything anyway, and my brother’s making out with his fiance right here in the same room’, so I headed for Provo.

Now, to understand something about Provo on a Sunday, most people just walk around in their suits and ties and a rather elegant pair of flip flops and white tube socks. They’re all clean cut,  with freshly gelled hair and glowing with spirituality. I, on the other hand, am wearing a retro Star Wars Empire Strikes Back t-shirt, some jeans with holes in them, my blue Sperry Top Siders and a 1983 Chicago White Sox hat. My beard is scruffy, my hair is unkempt (hence the hat wearing) and I felt like I’d just woken up from a much needed nap (yeah, it was much needed but it didn’t happen).

I step out of my car in the middle of Suburban Provo, walk up the sidewalk to a house bubbling with BYU students and see my sister sitting with her roommate (whom I would offend completely about four hours later with the admonition that I am a registered Democrat). We greeted each other, and we started the long awkward process of introductions to half the people in her BYU ward (religious congregation). First of all I’m bound to feel out of place because I’m an uninvited guest at a social gathering where everyone knows everyone. Secondly, my being there was like a Lion walking onto the Serengeti where a pride of lion’s is bored and ready to kill something. I’m competition. No matter what, if I speak to any females, no matter who they are, I’m crossing a metaphorical urine stain marking some other jungle cat’s territory.

In the end, I’m a sitting duck for conversations with awkward girls, angry guys (yes, I know this is starting to sound cynical, but it’s not), and yes even those occasional bright stars of BYU that make everyone feel welcome.

I enter the circle of chairs. I take my seat across from my sister. Some dude pulls up a chair, rupturing the structural integrity of this social convention I’ve chosen to enter, he begins to speak with my sister in depth. I’m all alone. The food is just being served so it isn’t long before I’m surround by my sister’s roommate’s and ward friends. They all begin to converse, while I sit back and listen.

One thing I have always loved doing, is people watching. Just take a moment to observe the people around you. Whether it’s nose picking, washing their cars with the window squeegee’s, or picking their crack you can see some pretty awesome things. So naturally, a BYU BBQ is the perfect location to do so. I start by absorbing the conversations around me. I listen carefully for tones, laughter, anything important. The conversation’s range from the benefits of ballet versus a rock concert, majors, minors and everything in between and even roommates. I continue to absorb personality types until my ears finally settle on one person. A blond sitting across from me in the half circle I’ve been left to squander in.

Somehow, the conversation has embarked on a path toward Disney movies (odd yes, but nothing entirely out of place for a conversation taking place at BYU). This particular blond begins to discuss Disney princesses, in particular who everyone’s favorites are. I state very bluntly that Belle has had my heart since I first met her. Another girl says, “I like Ariel because she’s a red head like me”. Another, Aurora, Snow White, etc. That’s when I over hear her start discussing the secret meaning of each princess. “Guy’s who like Jasmin like sluts. Belle is the intelligent one, that means you actually care about a girl’s intelligence” (Not going to lie, that makes me proud).  She continues to rant about the deeper meaning of the Disney films, “Ariel can disobey her father and he will sell her soul to save her” on and on.

Then the conversation switches to Ninja Turtles, I firmly believe you can tell a lot about someone based on their favorite Ninja Turtle. I’m a Donatello fan, I want to be cool, but in my heart I’m a nerd, Leonardo fan’s are natural leaders, Michelangelo fans just want to party, and Raphael fans are strong willed and slightly moody. Everyone agrees with me at this point, and she says “Yeah, I guess that does describe me, but I also liked him because the Si was my show weapon in Karate.

This is the point where my eyes bulge with mixed emotions. Frustration, annoyance, and awe that this twenty-something year-old girl quite literally has an opinion on any and everything I could ever bring up. She continues on and on for another twenty minutes discussing  the necessity for everyone to know self defense and then be prepared even if you know how to defend yourself. She even goes on to say “I was almost raped and I’m a 2nd degree black belt”.

All-in-all, I’m amazed. Desert arrives so they end up breaking the circle and I’m stuck with two guys, 1 of whom brings up Health Care Reform in a negative connotation (anyone who knows me knows that I have a very strong and loud opinion on this one) and I end up shutting him down with a couple facts he apparently wasn’t aware of. I have a good conversation with the other guy about the film industry and the future of the health industry in America.

All in all, it’s a good day. And by now you’re probably wondering why you even read this long post on my ridiculous website. All you need to know, is you understand where I’m coming from. The world is an interesting place. Look at the people around you, pay attention to the little details they share about themselves and the hidden desires that drive them. That will allow you to communicate better and enjoy life more fully. And wow, sometimes we should just keep a few of our opinions to ourselves. It can drive a man nuts!